Boys

So, I decided to break these posts up because no one wants to read about my boy-related rants all the time. So instead of concealing it in the middle of a life-post, I warned you:)

This semester I've decided to stay away from boy drama. I escaped it last semester, because there was no way I would even give romance a chance to start. I was able to hang out with an amazing group of girls and simply enjoyed things for me without worrying about looking for a boy.

After the boy debacles of 2008 and the resulting dramas, it was a nice relief. I never meant to hurt anyone in anything I did, but I told the truth, which is that I was not read to worry about someone else in my life. And I'm pretty sure that's still true. I wish I was at that stage in my life where I could let someone else in, trust and rely on them, but I'm not. And the last time I tried to test myself out in the romance department, I hurt and lost one of my really good friends. Nothing will ever be the same and things are now kind of awkward between us. You know me and awkward situations...I like to avoid them, though I do hope that I can work things out and learn to adjust to things being different. That would mean talking about the situation and resulting events, but I've never been a big talker. Cryptic, but moving on...

I see people my age getting married and having kids, and I just don't understand it. Though some of them are ready to take that step in their lives, I know that I'm nowhere near ready for something like that! I wish that I was there, but I've still got to focus on me. I've changed so much in the last four years, how could I settle down with someone right now who I would be happy with for a long time? Why waste time and emotions on something that might not last? Though how can you find something that will last without taking the risks?

Enough rambling for now. Time to go to bed so I can hit the gym with Jessie in the morning!

-Jess